Drag Me To Hell, Plz :D

| Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I had the opportunity to watch "Drag Me To Hell" last night. So, here we go.

I'm not going to say who was in it by giving their names and character names because I'm not in a geeky mood right now, nor do I give a shit. Don't take that in a mean way, the movie complied of a very small cast of an old Gypsy, Mexicans, a few white people, a few uppity white people, an Asian guy, and an Indian dude. Oh and a cat and a goat. Ok? we're good? Good.

The movie as it seems is from the same creator/director of some other horror movie that I'm sure you've seen or I've seen. Again my geek blood isn't flowing in 1's and 0's today. The basis of the story was that if you piss off the wrong person, a demon will haunt you until you're good and ripe to drag down to hell. Which is 3 days. Good to know!

She's so relived

So, instead of going line by line, scene by scene, explaining the main characters plight in all this hell borne madness, I will just point out the funny/really? scenes.

It begins with an emo used to be lard eater who can't stand up for herself or to her shitty boss at her very good job. She's got a great boytoy with a crazy mother who doesn't want him to date trash. So get hear this now ladies and gents, being a banker (including a teller) is trash to parents of a son who is a Psychology professor. You heard it here first if you didn't already know.

So Emo Supremo is given the opportunity to do something that would get her in the seat of Assistant VP at her bank, and do to that is to tell an old (and possibly already dead) gypsy woman that the bank will have to take her house because she's a shitty bill payer. So the old lady flips out and waits for the girl IN HER CAR and freaks her the fuck out by beating her up and gumming her chin. I wish I were kidding.

So now she's cursed by owning a button. Really? YUP! And from there hilarity ensues! She hears voices, goes to a Psychic guru and dies anyway. I can't even begin on the stupidity of the demon. It's a soul eater who wants nothing more than her soul. I mean what else could there have been? A gift card to starbucks? During a seance, it was summoned transferred through 2 people and 1 animal. First in the summoner, where it spit when it spoke, lashed out it tongue and some other demon nonsense. Then it was transferred to a goat and it called her a bitch. A goat called her a bitch. Then lastly it went in to the summoners assistant, where as it hovered in the air, it danced a jig because it just KNEW it was going to get it self a soul sooner than it though. Wow. Greatest movie making known to man since Troll 2.

I have to end this here, I really don't have anything else to add. My final thoughts, even though I made fun of it, I would watch it again. I just wish the bastardization of horror movies were more original and used better actors. It's not fun watching someone who isn't scared for their lives anymore. Bring back Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th when people knew what it meant to be scared. Either those or any Nickolas Cage movie, I cry every time I watch one.

Unleash Hell :-P